These are some poetry that I wrote while I was on Youth Work Retreat. These were written at various silent times over the four days.....
Untitled
I want to change directions
not happy with where I'm going
but as I see it
no turning lane,
no u-turns
no reverse gear.
I know I should be happy where I am
but I just can't help looking over
to those on the road I want to be on
and wish i was travelling with them
singing along with them
having the fun and memories they make
Part of me wants to go the same way
to fit in, have fun, to be popular
but then part of me wants to be my own person
part of me wants to travel my own journey,
go on the road less travelled.
Explore, Create, Enjoy
But then reality hits and I go back to being me
the me that thinks too much
the me that has faults
I retreat into this world inside my head
inside the pages of this book.
and I wish I wouldn't think anymore
Wishes.....
I wish for truly honest conversation
I wish for discovery
I wish for the presence
I wish for patience
I wish for freedom
I wish to just be
I wish for inspiration
I wish for imagination
I wish for appreciation
I wish for relaxation
I wish for individuality
I wish to live in the moment,
not in the past or the future
I wish for time
I wish for memories
I wish for enjoyment
I wish for contentment
I wish for adventures
I wish for creativity
I wish for more wishes!!
Who?
Who am I?
Who are you?
Be who you are?
Be who I am?
Be who I want you to be?
Be some fictional character
I made up
Just be?
Be quirky?
Be individual?
Be liked?
Are they the same?
What is the goal of my life?
What is the goal of yours?
Are they the same?
They don't match!
Tell the truth?
Tell the world's version of the truth?
Tell it sugar coated?
Open up?
How far open?
How much do i show,
Before I get hurt?
Simple
Living. Breathing. Blinking. Walking. Moving. Travelling. Talking. Thinking. Relating.
Untitled
Nobody cares when I'm not there
It seems they've just forgotten
I worry and I wonder
I fluster and I ponder
the fact that I'm hardly there
I'm a ghost, I'm a mime
I'm not wanting anyone's time,
I've come to not expect it
as I feel I'll be rejected
If I show people who I really am.
I'm scared they'll think its just a scam
I want to scream, I want to yell,
I want to dance, I want to tell
I want to break out of this sound proof box
I want to live my life without all these locks
Though, this weekend has been different
Its been freeing, though I've been distant
I've learned I'm accepted within this group
I've learnt that I can break down this box that is sound proof
I've found comfort, I've found hugs.
I've found the wishes have come true
Though at times I'm scared to embrace,
I want, I wish, I hope, I pray for it to continue.
yeah. just thought I'd share part of the weekend that I still can't find the appropriate words to describe!!
I just want to thank anyone who reads this who went to retreat and just to thank them for making my time on retreat so much better, and just making retreat what it was!!
Jess
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