As I was sitting in my counselling skills tutorial today, people were talking about their family of origin, and how they influenced their expectations on what their highest level of education and acheivement and goals were going to be. Of the people that were talking, all of the parents that they were referring to hadn't finished high school, and never went to uni, and from my opinion, would still be classified as middle class families, one of them, both parents were unemployed and uneducated (as far as tertiary education, and in parts secondary education goes), so yeah. it got me thinking that I was pretty lucky, both my parents finished year 12, had some sort of tertiary education level, and had steady employment. It got me thinking that if we were distinguishing class level by this point, then I would be considered of a higher class than the people that were speaking. Don't mean to put myself above, or its not that i consider myself any better than them, just that socially, and sociologically, I would probably be of a higher class, which made me feel bad, surprisingly, because I knew that, if this was the example of the table and the floor, then i would be at the table, and thats not necessarily a place i want to be. Because of this thought and this reflection, I somehow looked down on the other people there, but admired them at the same time, which was slightly weird. yeah. i cannot describe it. Don't mean to sound 'up myself' but i actually quite liked the feeling of being one up on someone, which i guess is quite selfish of me, and i shouldn't feel that, because I'm going to be working with young people that are going to have circumstances worse than mine. Am I going to feel good because of this?? Am i going to look down upon them because of this??
yeah... I also realised that I'm actually an extrovert, that has just learnt to become introverted, and that i actually get quite defensive when someone is in conflict with me, or i am being attacked.
yeah. i guess thats it for now
Cheerio
Jess
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Crazy Little Thing Called Love
I think Queen were right with their song, "crazy little thing called love", well at least with the title of the song. Love is crazy.
According to the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, "love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...
.... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"
Love: a word that doesn't make sense, and even when you experience it, it doesn't make sense.
There are so many things that happen, so many feelings and sensations that are new when someone is in love, an agape love.
Quite a few of my friends have been talking about early love, beginning relationships, ending relationships, having crushes, etc. I mean, I could well be one of those people, but I'm not, well I'm in two minds about it, because I've never been on this situation before. I feel as if there is a big balloon of happiness inside of me, about to burst, everytime I see or hear or think of him, I seem to smile, though I know that I will never be brave enough to do anything about it, so it will never exist, whatever it is.
Because I've never felt this before, I feel as if I'm missing out, when even people that are younger than me are talking of it and feeling it. I wish I could! I wish it was something more than a crush, or at another level, unrequited love.
I figured out about a month ago that I realised that i wasn't truly living. I was sitting, waiting, wishing life had begun. When others were out running that race, I was still figuring out where the start line was. I was wishing that things that happen to other people would happen to me! I don't know how powerful love it as I have never felt it before! I asked myself the question "whats life without living?" and even now I ask that same question, although adding the question "whats life without love?". This i seriously cannot answer.
I know we are called to be in relationship with each other, as we are called to be in relationship with God. So, as hard as it is, I am trying, to give over this will for my life and my love life to God, and sometimes I just wish I could handle it all over to him, but each day, I'm tempted to take it into my own hands, and say something, something that I'll probably regret. But I am in relationship with God, for that I am thankful, and I love God, so that I guess I am going to have to be thankful for that, and wait for my time to come, to experience love and intimacy in a human relationship.
I know my talk of love is getting rather annoying, boring or frustrating, or a combination, or all three, but its something that I want more than anything else at this moment. Well, that and to strengthen my relationship with God, as I ever do.
Cheerio
Jess
According to the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, "love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...
.... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"
Love: a word that doesn't make sense, and even when you experience it, it doesn't make sense.
There are so many things that happen, so many feelings and sensations that are new when someone is in love, an agape love.
Quite a few of my friends have been talking about early love, beginning relationships, ending relationships, having crushes, etc. I mean, I could well be one of those people, but I'm not, well I'm in two minds about it, because I've never been on this situation before. I feel as if there is a big balloon of happiness inside of me, about to burst, everytime I see or hear or think of him, I seem to smile, though I know that I will never be brave enough to do anything about it, so it will never exist, whatever it is.
Because I've never felt this before, I feel as if I'm missing out, when even people that are younger than me are talking of it and feeling it. I wish I could! I wish it was something more than a crush, or at another level, unrequited love.
I figured out about a month ago that I realised that i wasn't truly living. I was sitting, waiting, wishing life had begun. When others were out running that race, I was still figuring out where the start line was. I was wishing that things that happen to other people would happen to me! I don't know how powerful love it as I have never felt it before! I asked myself the question "whats life without living?" and even now I ask that same question, although adding the question "whats life without love?". This i seriously cannot answer.
I know we are called to be in relationship with each other, as we are called to be in relationship with God. So, as hard as it is, I am trying, to give over this will for my life and my love life to God, and sometimes I just wish I could handle it all over to him, but each day, I'm tempted to take it into my own hands, and say something, something that I'll probably regret. But I am in relationship with God, for that I am thankful, and I love God, so that I guess I am going to have to be thankful for that, and wait for my time to come, to experience love and intimacy in a human relationship.
I know my talk of love is getting rather annoying, boring or frustrating, or a combination, or all three, but its something that I want more than anything else at this moment. Well, that and to strengthen my relationship with God, as I ever do.
Cheerio
Jess
Friday, March 14, 2008
Various thoughts about love and lyrics
I know no one will read this.
and this is the reason I'm writing it here, and not on myspace or facebook, or any of the other strange blog sites, where people know I'm using this. If you are reading this, don't ask questions, or bug me about this. Though, you can if you want.
Lyrics i wrote while i was on the balcony, enjoying the breeze, though the hot weather was a bit of a bummer.
anyway.
You always come first.
You always come first.
You always come first in my life.
You're the first one I tell about anything and everyone I care about, everything thats going wrong, everything thats going right.
You're the first person I think about in the morning, the last before I sleep.
I can't stop thinking about you, my heart beats faster and slower when I see you,
wish I could stop it, its getting too hard to make it go unnoticed.
I think I may have done the wrong thing.
I think I may have fallen for someone.
Someone I know that won't catch me.
Someone that won't fall as well.
Sorry I just watched this romantic comedy and it always gets me!!
And the lyrics above were a mixture of two songs... the first one about God, and the second about someone else.
and this is the reason I'm writing it here, and not on myspace or facebook, or any of the other strange blog sites, where people know I'm using this. If you are reading this, don't ask questions, or bug me about this. Though, you can if you want.
Lyrics i wrote while i was on the balcony, enjoying the breeze, though the hot weather was a bit of a bummer.
anyway.
You always come first.
You always come first.
You always come first in my life.
You're the first one I tell about anything and everyone I care about, everything thats going wrong, everything thats going right.
You're the first person I think about in the morning, the last before I sleep.
I can't stop thinking about you, my heart beats faster and slower when I see you,
wish I could stop it, its getting too hard to make it go unnoticed.
I think I may have done the wrong thing.
I think I may have fallen for someone.
Someone I know that won't catch me.
Someone that won't fall as well.
Sorry I just watched this romantic comedy and it always gets me!!
And the lyrics above were a mixture of two songs... the first one about God, and the second about someone else.
Friday, March 7, 2008
Some thoughts and annoyances about things
I don't really know why I'm writing this. Maybe just to get it off my chest. I don't believe that this will actually be read by anyone other than myself so yeah. but in light of that someone may read it, so i won't use names, or specifics. I know this is sounding like it will just be a whole lot of rambling about annoyances and bitchiness about certain people i tend to dislike at the moment, though its not, its more about various people's views and outlooks, and certain things in society, and within the society that I reside in, and occasionally the thoughts that I have surrounding certain issues, to which i feel helpless and powerless, and can do nothing but pray about these things and that God will listen, and has been and is and will be working to help these issues and make them right in his view, and so that his image for the world will be as right as it can be with sin still in this world and contaminating it. But anyway, I'm certainly getting off topic.Where to start, where to start? I know. Recently, quite a bit has been frustrating and annoying me and making me quite angry, to tell the truth. Some people and their actions towards things that have been offered up to them to be something that will help them, not only personally, but also academically, they seem to be just making a complete joke about it, mocking it and refusing to participate, because apparently its against what they believe in! (I think I'm merging two problems together). They are both within the area that I am studying in, though two different topics.
Another topic of annoyances is the constant closed-mindedness of people around me, that refuse to do things because it contradicts their "religion" and their beliefs. Who could've thought that a whispered prayer to a worry doll for instance could spark so much controversy?? and people will not bare to listen to the argument that this is a new experience and just because they see it not as a prayer to God, but as a prayer to another god of their own religion they refuse to at least try it for experience sake. I mean I would believe that I'm open for new experiences and even though I wouldn't necessarily do this on a regular basis (as in I wouldn't regularly tell this worry doll a worry just so as I can sleep better), though some people stick to their experiences and what they know just to keep them comfortable. MY argument to these closed-minded people, is that children cannot neccesarily picture God as a concrete idea/image so they do not necessarily just in their nature to talk/pray to something that cannot define as something they can know to exist or something solid that they can hold, therefore, they talk to these worry dolls as a process of talking to God, as most of the Guatemalan population is Christian or Protestant. so yeah. Today, in one of my lectures, we used worry dolls, to represent the meaning of meeting children where they are at, not bringing them to where you're at, and we were told to each say a worry to these worry dolls, I was willing to try it because I'm open to new experiences, though the rest of my table almost slandered it, saying it was against their beliefs and so I was rather offended by my tables reaction.
Um. another thing I'm rather annoyed by at the moment is the constant competition that seems to be going on between a few people and myself. It seems like every time we converse, that everything I say, they have something bigger, better, stronger, faster, even worse than whatever I'm talking about, be it a situation, an object or a person. Its so annoying. ITS NOT A FREAKIN COMPETITION!
Yeah. Well in one of my lectures, the topic of poverty seems to be brought forth in every lecture. It gets me frustrated because I want to do something about it, but I feel like I can't do anything about it, well nothing that will make any sort of difference anyway! Yeah. I get annoyed at the fact that other people seem to not care about this issue, and just seem not interested and complacent about it, whereas I'm passionate about it.
I hate that people hate multiculturalism in todays society, even though on reflection with a dear friend today, it would seem that we are one-dimensional without the different cultures adding to our story and adding to the colour and diversity of Australia. Without the thousands of years of history from countries that different people have when they come here, we have only had about 100 years of white history in Australia, which in my mind, makes us one-dimensional, because we have a bit of a "naivety" about us when it comes to certain things, that we don't have any prior knowledge about because of our lack of history. We are slowly getting more knowledge in some areas and less "naive" because we know some of the things that have happened in other cultures history, which we can learn from.
yeah i guess this ends my long and arduous ranting on things that annoy me. I hope this hasn't offended anyone (if anyone has read this) and I hope this adds to your thoughts, or reflections. If you have any questions. feel free to ask!!
I kinda feel better!
Cheerio
Jess
Another topic of annoyances is the constant closed-mindedness of people around me, that refuse to do things because it contradicts their "religion" and their beliefs. Who could've thought that a whispered prayer to a worry doll for instance could spark so much controversy?? and people will not bare to listen to the argument that this is a new experience and just because they see it not as a prayer to God, but as a prayer to another god of their own religion they refuse to at least try it for experience sake. I mean I would believe that I'm open for new experiences and even though I wouldn't necessarily do this on a regular basis (as in I wouldn't regularly tell this worry doll a worry just so as I can sleep better), though some people stick to their experiences and what they know just to keep them comfortable. MY argument to these closed-minded people, is that children cannot neccesarily picture God as a concrete idea/image so they do not necessarily just in their nature to talk/pray to something that cannot define as something they can know to exist or something solid that they can hold, therefore, they talk to these worry dolls as a process of talking to God, as most of the Guatemalan population is Christian or Protestant. so yeah. Today, in one of my lectures, we used worry dolls, to represent the meaning of meeting children where they are at, not bringing them to where you're at, and we were told to each say a worry to these worry dolls, I was willing to try it because I'm open to new experiences, though the rest of my table almost slandered it, saying it was against their beliefs and so I was rather offended by my tables reaction.
Um. another thing I'm rather annoyed by at the moment is the constant competition that seems to be going on between a few people and myself. It seems like every time we converse, that everything I say, they have something bigger, better, stronger, faster, even worse than whatever I'm talking about, be it a situation, an object or a person. Its so annoying. ITS NOT A FREAKIN COMPETITION!
Yeah. Well in one of my lectures, the topic of poverty seems to be brought forth in every lecture. It gets me frustrated because I want to do something about it, but I feel like I can't do anything about it, well nothing that will make any sort of difference anyway! Yeah. I get annoyed at the fact that other people seem to not care about this issue, and just seem not interested and complacent about it, whereas I'm passionate about it.
I hate that people hate multiculturalism in todays society, even though on reflection with a dear friend today, it would seem that we are one-dimensional without the different cultures adding to our story and adding to the colour and diversity of Australia. Without the thousands of years of history from countries that different people have when they come here, we have only had about 100 years of white history in Australia, which in my mind, makes us one-dimensional, because we have a bit of a "naivety" about us when it comes to certain things, that we don't have any prior knowledge about because of our lack of history. We are slowly getting more knowledge in some areas and less "naive" because we know some of the things that have happened in other cultures history, which we can learn from.
yeah i guess this ends my long and arduous ranting on things that annoy me. I hope this hasn't offended anyone (if anyone has read this) and I hope this adds to your thoughts, or reflections. If you have any questions. feel free to ask!!
I kinda feel better!
Cheerio
Jess
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