Crazy Little Thing Called Love

I think Queen were right with their song, "crazy little thing called love", well at least with the title of the song. Love is crazy.

According to the Bible, 1 Corinthians 13:4-13, "love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails...
.... And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love"

Love: a word that doesn't make sense, and even when you experience it, it doesn't make sense.
There are so many things that happen, so many feelings and sensations that are new when someone is in love, an agape love.

Quite a few of my friends have been talking about early love, beginning relationships, ending relationships, having crushes, etc. I mean, I could well be one of those people, but I'm not, well I'm in two minds about it, because I've never been on this situation before. I feel as if there is a big balloon of happiness inside of me, about to burst, everytime I see or hear or think of him, I seem to smile, though I know that I will never be brave enough to do anything about it, so it will never exist, whatever it is.

Because I've never felt this before, I feel as if I'm missing out, when even people that are younger than me are talking of it and feeling it. I wish I could! I wish it was something more than a crush, or at another level, unrequited love.

I figured out about a month ago that I realised that i wasn't truly living. I was sitting, waiting, wishing life had begun. When others were out running that race, I was still figuring out where the start line was. I was wishing that things that happen to other people would happen to me! I don't know how powerful love it as I have never felt it before! I asked myself the question "whats life without living?" and even now I ask that same question, although adding the question "whats life without love?". This i seriously cannot answer.

I know we are called to be in relationship with each other, as we are called to be in relationship with God. So, as hard as it is, I am trying, to give over this will for my life and my love life to God, and sometimes I just wish I could handle it all over to him, but each day, I'm tempted to take it into my own hands, and say something, something that I'll probably regret. But I am in relationship with God, for that I am thankful, and I love God, so that I guess I am going to have to be thankful for that, and wait for my time to come, to experience love and intimacy in a human relationship.

I know my talk of love is getting rather annoying, boring or frustrating, or a combination, or all three, but its something that I want more than anything else at this moment. Well, that and to strengthen my relationship with God, as I ever do.

Cheerio
Jess